Every Jurassic Park Dinosaur Death, Ranked
People who set foot inside Jurassic Park do so at their own peril. It typically does not end well, even for the survivors, but especially for the unlucky individuals who die the dinosaur death. And make no mistake — the dinosaur death is the worst death, whether it’s by way of a hot shot of slick black goo to the face, or getting eaten by a renegade Tyrannosaurus in front of a now defunct Blockbuster video store.
While the three released Jurassic-movies range wildly in terms of quality, each and every one of them offers up a worthy dose of deadly dino damage. Before “Jurassic World” arrives, here’s a look back on the 11 best dinosaur deaths of the Jurassic Park series to date:
Udesky versus the Velociraptors
Say what you will about “Jurassic Park III,” but it’s the only movie in the series featuring a raptor breaking a man’s neck ala Jack Bauer.
The Tyrannosaurus Rex versus the Spinosaurus
Speaking of “JPIII,” it also features a dinosaur killing another dinosaur by breaking its neck. If nothing else, the third “Jurassic Park” earns top honors in the “death-by-dinosaurs-breaking-necks” department.
Peter Ludlow versus the Baby Tyrannosaurus Rex
A fittingly wimpy end for one of the biggest wimps in the entire “Jurassic” series.
The Blockbuster Video Dude versus the Tyrannosaurus Rex
The whole San Diego sequence in “Lost World” is absolutely absurd, but totally worth it for this one moment alone.
Dieter Stark versus an Army of Camposauruses
Never underestimate the power of little baby dinosaurs.
Ellie Sattler versus Arnold’s arm
He should have held onto more than his butt.
Muldoon’s colleague versus the Raptors
You never see the actual death of the “shoot her” guy, but you don’t need to; the desperation of the situation paints more than enough of a picture to fuel your nightmares forevermore.
Muldoon versus the Raptors
Not even the man with the most respect for the velociraptors could outmaneuver their devious tactics. If only he took a course at Chris Pratt’s raptor-training school first.
The Raptors versus the Tyrannosaurs Rex
When dinosaurs ruled the Earth, the T-Rex was king. Never forget, you stupid raptors.
Donald Gennaro versus the Tyrannosaurus Rex
For a moment, the T-Rex devouring the toilet-sitting, blood-sucking lawyer was number one on this list. And then my wife pointed out to me that this iconic “Jurassic Park” moment is truly number two. Indeed it is.
Dennis Nedry versus the Dilophosaurus