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The Best Insults Ever Hurled In The Star Wars Universe

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disney

If there’s one thing the characters of Star Wars love more than piloting space ships, fighting stormtroopers, and dancing with adorable ewoks, it’s insulting each each other.

Here’s what to say to someone when you don’t like them (plus an obligatory “I don’t like you either!”), from least to most biting:

Fuzzball

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Fuzzball is a terrible insult. I would love to hang out with a fuzzball. It sounds like such a snuggly experience. Try harder, Han.

Crazy Old Man

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Aw, come on Uncle Owen, that’s not a nice thing to say about the guy who literally brought you a child to raise.

Bantha Fodder

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Basically a fancy way of saying bulls–t, but without the bulls. Solid.

Buckethead

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One of Ezra’s favorite things to call Stormtroopers in Star Wars Rebels. He’s also partial to “Bucket brain,” “snowmen,” “stifftroopers,” and “stormbloopers.” Kid’s got a future as an insult comic if the whole Jedi thing doesn’t work out.

Flyboy

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Not Leia’s best work, but her delivery really sells her contempt for Han Solo.

Goldenrod

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That’s right, Han Solo’s talking about C-3PO’s junk.

Scum

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Imperial troops are not very imaginitive when it comes to insulting their enemies. Rebel scum, Jedi scum, you get the idea. At least Obi-Wan gives it a little flair when describing Mos Eisley as “a wretched hive of scum and villainy.”

Clanker

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Used to describe the battle droids during Star Wars: The Clone Wars. Also, pretty accurate.

Son Of A Bantha

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Which is worse, being a bantha’s son or its food? Either way, it really stings as an insult.

Slimy Piece of Worm-Ridden Filth

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Does it count as an insult if it’s actually a totally accurate description of Jabba the Hut?

Overweight Glob Of Grease

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Surprisingly this one is also not about Jabba the Hut but instead about R2-D2! It’s literally one of the first lines C-3PO utters. Nice to start that relationship off on the right note.

Nearsighted Scrap Pile

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Then he says this to everybody’s favorite l’il droid not ten minutes later. Guys, I think 3PO is kind of a jerk.

Flea-Bitten Furball

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Occasionally 3PO takes a break to say something mean to Chewbacca, too.

Walking Carpet

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And Leia gets to join in too sometimes.

Stupid Little Short Circuit

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Wow, poor R2 gets abused a LOT?

Mindless Philosopher

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Good think R2 also knows how to hit his golden comrade right back where it hurts.

Malfunctioning Little Twerp

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But seriously, 3PO, lay off a bit.

Slimy, Double-Crossing No-Wood Swindler

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Ironically said by Lando Calrissian, the king of all double-crossers.

Stuck-up, Half-Witted, Scruffy-Looking Nerf Herder

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A time-honored classic.

Laser Brain

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Nerf-herder gets all the glory, but I feel this is Leia’s crowning achievement. It’s subtle and almost backhanded (lasers ARE pretty awesome) and just flows off the tongue so wonderfully, like a sci-fi version of the infamous “cellar door” phrase.

INNERSPACE CLIPS