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5 Things In The New Goosebumps Movie That Will Only Scare Adults

While he may be a little behind Stephen King when it comes to adaptations and on-screen cameos, children’s author R.L. Stine is playing catch up in a big way with the Goosebumps movie in which an entire bookcase worth of his creepy stories are brought to life in a single film.

In Goosebumps, new kid in town Zach (Dylan Minnette) is instantly intrigued by the strange goings-on in his neighbour’s house. Mr. Shivers (Jack Black) and his much friendlier teen daughter Hannah (Odeya Rush) are definitely hiding something. Zach discovers what it is late one night when he and a friend break into the house to see Hannah, unwittingly toppling some bookshelves and dislodging an R.L. Stine monster from the pages of a locked manuscript. As multiple creatures escape the pages of their books, Shivers’ true identity is revealed and everyone must band together in an effort to recapture a litany of all too real monsters previously thought to be mere figments of Stine’s imagination.

Equal parts funny and frightening, the movie should be an instant hit with fans of Stine’s novels—those who read them when they were first published in the early ‘90s as well as the author’s new readers. Goosebumps treads the line between being just scary enough to be fun and not so scary that it will give an 11-year-old nightmares until she’s 21. That said, the film contains some surprisingly terrifying elements certain to go over the heads of the kids in the audience. Adults, this brand of horror is just for you:

Forced running while over 40. Imagine the combined humiliations of every high school gym class crashing down on your old, out of shape body like a tidal wave. Of blood.

901718 - Goosebumps

Wasted electricity. Who the hell is paying the massive hydro bill for this abandoned theme park?

901718 - Goosebumps

Book burnings. Kids these days don’t care about a bunch of paper on fire, what with their Kindles and iPads and Snapchats and Dubsmashings.

Dylan Minnette; Jack Black; Odeya Rush; Ryan Lee

The aunt with the Bedazzler. Only people who were alive during the heyday of this crafting tool/torture device will comprehend its true horror.

Jack Black; Jillian Bell

Sarcastic teens. Is there anything scarier?

Amy Ryan; Dylan Minnette

Goosebumps is in theatres Friday October 16. Check out the trailer below:

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