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George R.R. Martin Dead In Sharknado, Will Never Finish Winds Of Winter

grr-martin

If you’ve been waiting on tenterhooks to find out whether Jon Snow is alive or dead, we’ve got some really bad news for you: Jon will not be coming back to life to win the game of thrones.

In fact, nobody wins the game of thrones. Ever.

Except the sharks. The sharks win.

Yes, that’s bestselling author George R.R. Martin, and yes, that is real actual footage of him being eaten alive in a movie theater during Sharknado 3.

And now all our hopes of ever getting to read the next installment of A Song of Ice and Fire are gone, lost to the digestive process of the ocean’s mightiest predator… as is George R.R. Martin’s head.

Everyone who watched this important television event agrees that this was a completely shocking and unexpected scene—but weirdly enough, the author seemed to know that it was coming, posting this final entry on his Livejournal just hours before his untimely shark death.

Screen-Shot-2015-07-23-at-9.25.42-AM-1437658468

Current mood: Scared, but not scared enough to avoid going outside during a sharknado, apparently. GEEZ, GEORGE. Why?!

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