The Weirdest Tech To Come Out Of CES 2016
It’s January 8, 2016 and (at least according to Philip K. Dick) we should all have our own Nexus 6 replicants to take out our trash, fight our wars, and mind our children on New Year’s Eve. Alas, it isn’t so. Technology hasn’t advanced at the pace predicted by movies like Blade Runner or even Back to the Future (no one will ever convince us that this is a hoverboard) but each year the Consumer Electronics Show brings us closer to the crazy dream of flying cars and robot butlers. The incept date for these six strange CES gadgets actually is 2016—and they’re almost as weird as the birthday boy:
The hoverboard robot butler
Need a lift? This guy has you covered. But Segway’s Advanced Personal Robot isn’t just a fly ride that will make everyone at the mall do a double take as you glide by. He’ll also carry your bags while you browse, get the door for you, and guarantee that you’ll never have to sit alone in the food court. In the future, we won’t need friends.
The 3D selfie-taker
Just when you thought selfie culture couldn’t get any more self-centred, along comes Shapify, the photo booth from the future that will scan your bod in mere seconds and burp out a tiny, plastic version of it… which you can then photograph and put on Instagram. #iwokeupthisway
The flying hi-fi system
If we can’t have a flying cars, then we demand flying sound systems! At least one startup has expressed an interest in our desire for stuff that actually hovers, creating a reasonably priced floating speaker-and-subwoofer-combo for your stereo. We’ll take 11.
The video game… for your dog
Does your Goldendoodle get jelz when you spend too much time playing Assassin’s Creed? No more! CleverPet has designed a gaming console for Fido that the company claims will go much further in entertaining your busy pup that a Kong filled with peanut butter can. The console teaches your pet to solve puzzles. When they get them right, a treat is released. Sorry, Cavalier King Charles Spaniels need not apply.
The smartest rubber duck to ever float across your tub
His name is Edwin. He is there when you take a bath, he is there when you sleep, he is a rubber duck-shaped creep that can read stories, sing songs, and interact with apps. Your children will beg you to buy him. He will freak you out. It’s the eyes.
The wearable that will sooth your aching shoulders
Have you been working out or is that just an AiraWear massage jacket you’ve got under your hoodie? Not for the style conscious, this invention will act like an RMT, making you feel like you’re at a spa while in reality, you sit hunched over your laptop. Bonus: it also monitors your posture and gives you that enviable undercover-Koopa-Troopa look that’s so hot right now.