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Why The Real 2015 Is Cooler Than Back To The Future’s 2015

Face it: our disappointment over the non-materialization of the fleets of flying cars and widely available hoverboards predicted by Back to the Future Part II may never be fully alleviated. The self-driving cars and exclusive, elitist hoverboards we do have hardly make up for the fact that in 2015, all of humanity still has to bend over and tie their own damn shoes.

SHOES

That said, some of the stuff that exists today is actually way cooler than the movie technology that blew Marty McFly’s mind when he travelled forward to today: October 21, 2015. Hoverboards aside, we’ve actually got it pretty good. Here’s proof:

WEARABLES

What would you rather be seen in public sporting? Doc’s ridiculous wraparounds or an Apple Watch? And while a talking, self-drying jacket might sound kind of cool, how many times would you actually use it? (Especially since we still can’t get our hands on those freaking hoverboards.)

DRONES

In Back to the Future Part II, drones walked dogs. In the real world, we’ve found more useful things for them to do—like aiding in animal conservation, saving lives, and, uh, delivering pizza. The non-dehydrated kind.

GLASS

Marty’s obnoxious offspring weren’t absorbed by their iPhones at dinner—they had hi-tech goggles that served a variety of functions. The clunky glasses were phones, video streaming devices, and wearable computers in one. Sounds like Google Glass—and we all know how well that went over. We’re much more excited about wearable VR tech like Oculus Rift, HTC’s Vive, Samsung VR, and all the other cool VR stuff the tech community is currently coming up with.

VIDEO CHAT

Is there anyone you regularly FaceTime with whose mug you’d want to see on the big screen television you have mounted over your fireplace? Certainly not your boss’. In the real 2015, video chat technology is typically limited to the confines of our computer, tablet, and smartphone screens. Just as Steve Jobs intended it to be.

TIES

Today, fashion-conscious tie-wearers still only sport one of these at a time, with trends tipping towards wearing less and less of these expensive little nooses, not more of them.

Oh, and about those self-lacing sneakers: who needs them when you’ve got bionic legs?

INNERSPACE CLIPS