So no doubt at some point over the next few weeks you’re going to do yourself the favour of seeing The Hobbit. I think you’ll love the film, but if you’re someone who also loves trolling just for the LOLs, here’s a list of 10 annoying things you can do to ruin everyone else’s movie going experience. Try these at your own risk—or just read them here and picture the hilarious outcomes.
10. Sit in the front row and wear a tall wizard hat, Gandalf style, throughout the film.
9. When the movie’s over, turn to your friend and in a loud voice say “I thought this was supposed to be an environmental documentary about the damaging effects of smog.”
8. At the two-hour mark, go to the front and lead everyone in a seventh inning stretch.
7. Cosplay as Dumbeldore and act hurt when people compliment your Gandalf costume.
6. To your friends and nearby patrons, adamantly insist that this trilogy didn’t use performance capture and Andy Serkis actually appears as Gollum.
5. Whenever any of the dwarves appear on-screen, ask your friend “Is that one Dopey?”
4. When Sylvester McCoy shows up as Radagast the Brown, start humming the theme to Doctor Who, and then see how many people you can get to hum along.
3. Throughout the movie, at any given moment, sigh and declare “It wasn’t like this in the book!”
2. Whenever a female character is on-screen, shout “Hubba hubba!” *
1. When the hawks show up to save the party, loudly ask “Why didn’t Gandalf get the hawks to deliver the ring to Mordor in Lord of the Rings? I mean, they can fly right there and stuff, right?!”
* There's only one and she’s only in it for five minutes, so don’t go to the bathroom or you might miss your chance.