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3 Burning Unanswered Questions About ‘Home Alone’

Merry Christmas, you filthy animal.

“Home Alone” skeptics, take note: One of the enduring mysteries of the movie has finally been solved. With thanks to Redditor matt01ss (and to Buzzfeed for the find), we finally know how it is that the McCallister family could get onto an airplane to Paris without Kevin’s unused airline ticket alerting them to his absence. This nifty GIF explains it best:

See? See?! They threw it out in all the chaos after the milk-spilling incident! Talk about your perfect storm for accidental child abandonment; clearly, the holiday gods were determined to see little Kevin McCallister left behind.

But while we finally have the answer to that question, there are still a few more that need explanations — things that have been bothering us for more than 20 years now.

Why didn’t the pizza delivery boy call the police about having nearly been murdered?

For starters, let’s just stipulate that the McCallisters’ TV clearly delivers convincing enough audio to fool the average passerby (in this case, both Marv and the pizza kid) into believing that what they’re hearing is actual, legit semi-automatic gunfire. Why, then, does the delivery boy not take the obvious next step of calling the cops to report that some crazed customer just tried to murder him?

What is the deal with Old Man Marley?

At one point, Kevin’s creepy old neighbor assures him that “There’s a lot of things going around about me, but none of it’s true.” At the same time, knowing that there are “things going around,” you’d think that Marley would make a concerted effort to demonstrate what a nice, normal guy he is, by, oh, say, not slamming his bloodied, bandaged hands on glass countertops at eye level with tiny children. Also, what sort of freakish wound would cause this much bloody seepage on both his palm as well as the top of his hand? Does Marley suffer from stigmata?! He may have ultimately saved Kevin’s life, but that doesn’t change the fact that something is seriously off about this dude, and we want to know what it is.

Who grabbed the tarantula?

 
Whose hand is that? Kevin’s? Nuh-uh. THAT IS NOT A CHILD’S HAND. And don’t you dare try to tell us it was a stuntman; that’s what they want you to think. We know the truth! There was a second spider-grabber on the grassy knoll! Theory: The McCallister’s house is haunted by the ghost of a benevolent tarantula-handler. Even better theory: It’s actually Old Man Marley, who is not a human being at all, but an omnipresent Dickensian Christmas spirit, helping Kevin to best the burglars as a means of finally shucking off the enormous chain of sins he forged in life. It all makes so much sense now.

INNERSPACE CLIPS